it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
