Im at strip club and am horny
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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