How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
