Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
