we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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