Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I need moral support for this bender
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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