so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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