It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
