I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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