Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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