We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
