Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They took my balls.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
