you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
