i'm signing you up for texting rehab
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
