Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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