Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
