I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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