my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
