Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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