Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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