My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The feeling are messing with the penis
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
