Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize