hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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