He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
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Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
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Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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