Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
