If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
