I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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