where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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