You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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