Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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