i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
