You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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