I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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