I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.