Your face is a jimmy john
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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