I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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