I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
