i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
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i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
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You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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