Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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