Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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