how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
