He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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