He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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