he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
