Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
