The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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