after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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