my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
