You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
