At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
