yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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