i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
