Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If I die, sorry about rent.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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