census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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