You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
