okay pat passed out under dana's car
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
