I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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