Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
They took my balls.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
