So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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