And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize