a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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