Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
