Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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