Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
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Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
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Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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