talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
