And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
