I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am midnight drunk by noon
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
