soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
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I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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