no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
