maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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